I made these two things.

I promise I'll be funny soon.

Just not today...

...Because you're too awesome and I need to tell everyone.

Hello, I already love you.

First ticket

Before the tears and hysteria set in,

before the self-loathing began,

before I almost puked on the steering wheel,

I thanked the officer for the ticket.

QUICK!

Please!

Someone kill me before I contaminate the gene pool.

What do I think of your diet plan? Essay? House? Lifestyle? Dog? It needs more tea.

JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION -SCREAM-

Sometimes my job feels weird

Top notch at woodcarving

They say I spend too much time alone.

cough

Not having internet makes me draw silly things.

Look at the way we've got to hide what we're doing. What would they say if they ever knew?

This is my new best friend.

Sorry.

You're being replaced.

His name is Winston and he loves me the way I am.

Alternate story line:

What do you MEAN I don't have any friends? I have LOADS of them.

Here's one right now.

I don't need people...I've got a duck.

i work out my bod a lot...eating burns calories right

Some days...

Some days I just want to curl up in the fetal position and take a moment to reexamine my life.

Today was one of those days.

My job, normally, is pretty enjoyable.

I don't have a whole lot to complain about.

I bus tables, clean, carry around food, make coffee, and chat with customers.

Not bad, not bad.

...And, occasionally, I have to do a parking lot check.

I meander around outdoors with a dustpan and broom, cleaning up cigarettes, leaves, straw wrappers...

The average trash that clutters up the store front.

Today, I decided to be extra thorough.

I decided, hey, why SHOULDN'T I clean out every scrap of junk stuck under the bushes?

Amidst the discarded, forgotten rubbish of passing customers,

I discovered some horrifying artifacts.

A list of things I found on lot check today:

Wrappers

Plastic spoons, forks, knives

Cigarettes

Napkins

Screws

Leaves

Gum

Bread

Half a diaper

Condoms.

CLEARLY RECENTLY USED, stained underwear

It did not help that I missed my morning alarm and was sick the entire day.

It felt rough.

But I'm alive.

I came home, showered, and tried to take a nap...

I awoke in a cold sweat, whispering to myself...

"The bus tubs are overflowing! I need to get the bus tubs."

This is a re-occuring nightmare.

lolwut

Customers:

"Hey could you microwave this salad for me?"

"Would you spit in this if I ask you to?"

"Enjoy your meal!" "You, too."

I'll post something relevant someday...

When I buy a scanner...

I'll...

Just...

I'll get better...I promise.

Just keep telling myself that.

WHO MOVED MY GLASSES FESS UP

I hate it when this happens...

'lets play bally ball .. itll b fun 4 al intensive porpoises ' ...

No offense, dad...but let's eat icecream and watch Dr Who instead.

"wud u liek sum ice 4 that"

>> **received

Here is everything else from my sketch book

I'll make a more formal and

actually interesting blog post sometime

this upcoming week.

I've been busy.

//I love this.

 //I've been drawing so many monsters blowing bubbles lately.

Also there is a gorilla and a guy with no friends.

 //Kathy's cookies.

I drew this in an airport at 3am.

I was nearly hysterical.

 //I was at a friend's house.

And I have this thing (I have MANY things) about not eating in front

of people I usually don't eat in front of.

So his mom brings up watermelon...

And my stomach growls THUPAR loud.

Betrayal.

Cuts deep, bro.

//I almost look attractive homeless.