How to catch his/her eye.

I've put together some very useful hints here for communicating with the opposite sex.
This works for men and women. I am SURE.
So sure.
Entirely.
Really.
I promise.
Yeah.

From experience, I've learned men TOTALLY DIG chicks who are religiously tolerant.

Try a couple of these one-liners to reel your future love-bug in.

"I can light a menorah in five seconds flat."
"Come on over and I'll show you my nativity scene."
"I'll light up your life brighter than Diwali."
"You hajj a nice outfit."

After you let the line fly, wink for emphasis.
It's not creepy or tacky. Really.

Being attractive is important.
Here are a couple tips for maintaining the illusion of that perfect physique:

Instead of a tie I recommend you don a sweatband around your neck. If it doesn't quite fit, carrying a towel to mop up your bodily fluids is almost as effective.

Stretch it out in front of the object of your desire. Highlight your best assets. i.e. If you have a very attractive bellybutton, make sure you bend backwards and thrust it out, clearly displaying your superior genes (check for lint first).

If your man/woman catches you devouring another box of powdered donuts, simply wipe away the sugar, clear your throat, lean in and whisper, "I bet you like that, huh?" Proceed to lick your lips. He/she will be so caught up in your sex appeal that he/she will forget you are a complete glutton.

Make weekly appearances at the gym. You don't actually have to work out. Just be sure your beloved sees you leaving, covered in sweat. Carry a water bottle. Accessorizing is a must.

 Show your prospective lover that you're respectful, funny, altruistic, and especially racially diverse.

Allude to your unique racial background.
Subtly.
Example: "Hey, dawg. You're looking quite lovely today. My famry enjoy meet you, yes."

If you can make yourself out to be kind, humorous, and well-mannered just once, you'll never have to worry about it again.

He/she will be confident that somewhere deep down, the man/woman he/she loves is still there.

Lastly, be sensitive.


This may be the single-most important piece of advice.
I recommend you constantly mention your mother, talk about your deep feelings often, and blubber like a baby with a dirty diaper during movies.

Insist your favorite movie is the Titanic.

If you follow these guidelines, you will have a 100% success rate!*

*But only if your ideal sweetheart has a sense of humor. Otherwise, quite honestly, he/she isn't worth the time or effort.


Happy relationship hunting :]