Mothers' Day!

In honor of Mothers' Day (which was yesterday- whoops) I am going to write a list of things my mother taught me. Some made be inappropriate. Please read at your our discretion.

I know it looks word-y and that frightens some people. But I promise it is kind of worth reading...
On second thought, I'll add a few pictures.

1. How to be AHwesome with a capital AH.
2. It's ohkay to laugh at your own jokes.
3. Gay men are not devoid of genitalia.
4. You can easily fool people into thinking your intelligent if you have a big vocabulary.
5. Tomatoes are good for your prostate.

6. How to put holes in plastic things with a knife you've stuck in the fire.
7. How to make a rope out of straw wrappers.
8. I now know how to trick people into thinking I like them.
9. If you get a B- on that test, you'll end up homeless.
10. Sex before marriage = DOOM.
11. Drugs are for losers.
12. Tea cures everything.
13. Filipino cuisine pwns American food.
14. How to pee in a cup.
15. Dancing to grocery store music is awkward. But that makes it more fun.

16. Wanker is a NSFW password.
17. Minions rock.
18. Faith is an even better cure than tea is.
19. Long nails are magnets for crap.
20. Sometimes it's ohkay to be egotistical. Especially because I really am that cool.

I added random splotches of color. Hopefully it is decent now.