Facebook

My mom likes to "hack". By hack, I mean write obnoxious things as people's statuses on Facebook when they happen to leave their page up. Sometimes, she'll post equally crazy (and usually funny) things from her account.

Whenever a particular comment is not received as well as she had planned, mom likes to blame it on me. I went through the trouble of drawing you this diagram.

That blank spot is a symbol of my apathy. If you ever do something really dumb, it is probably safe to blame it on me. I never defend myself nor retaliate. If I had a superhero name it would be something like "The Apathetic Beta Wonder".

I have been drinking a lot of orange juice lately.

One man's mission to destroy the self-esteem of monsters everywhere...

^There might be more of these coming. Unless I forget.

I should probably be in bed.

I would be sleeping but I had a stroke of inspiration at 11:30. So I drew it.

Water... Shark Week.

I like to use this cup.

It makes me feel like I am king. The boss. El jefe. Da big cheese... 

In one perfect word: GANGSTA.

Sometimes I pretend I am swallowing a shark when I drink from it. But don't tell anyone. It'll be our secret.

Dude. That time of the month SUCKS.

I get over-emotional and have major meltdowns at the strangest things.

I may have lied a little. That stairs thing happens to me a lot. At school sometimes I will get halfway down and forget how to use them, then race back up all, "OH, GEEZE SILLY ME I FORGOT MY NEXT CLASS WAS UP HERE! HEEHEEHEE!" And it won't be. I just couldn't remember how to use the gosh darn stairs.

My life is sort of embarrassing.